Trap Doors

Written by Zelda

 

There are barn doors
And there are revolving doors

Doors on the rudders of big ships
We are revolving doors

There are doors that open by themselves
There are sliding doors
And there are secret doors

There are doors that lock
And doors that don't

There are doors that let you in
And out
But never open
But they are trapdoors
That you can't come back from

--‘Pull Pulk Revolving Doors’ Radiohead--

 

                Was it all really a trap door? Maybe it wasn’t that simple… but when things boiled down, that’s what it seemed like. One big, elaborate trap door. Something you couldn’t come back from, no matter what. Even if they did find a way to rebuild the gateway generator, a way back to Puckworld, they could never go back from what had happened to them here. It was really as simple as that, Wildwing thought. He could never just erase what he had become over these years. He had lost Canard in the desolate space of dimensional limbo. His teenage brother had been raised in the midst of a war. And playing hockey on this planet, although essential, was rough. Of course, there were good things too. His team had grown as close as brothers and sisters, despite coming from all different walks of life. And Zelda too, an earth native, had proved invaluable to their survival on this planet. Most importantly, they had taken the fight away from Puckworld. If the Resistance had never been assembled, he and Nosedive would still be in chains, stuck in a Saurian labor camp, if they were lucky enough to still be alive. They had saved Puckworld, wasn’t that their goal?…

 

                No, Wildwing decided, there was something clearly lacking. They hadn’t beaten Dragaunus, despite having run him all over this planet. It never added up when Wildwing thought about it, and maybe it never would. They were obviously the stronger team, and yet the Saurians somehow always seemed to come out with an advantage. It seemed as if he never had the time or the depth of thought it took to figure that out. Maybe it was a question for Tanya or Grin, but not him. And that frustrated him. He was the leader, after all. Wildwing sighed, reached up, and pulled the Mask from his face. He turned it around in his hands and looked it over, the artifact that was thousands of years old fading to white as it deactivated. Was he really a leader? He knew this was an old argument. He was calling up some old ghosts here. But the thought had never really gone away in his mind. He didn’t lead exactly, there were areas of expertise in which he still had to rely heavily on the others. Should it be that way, or shouldn’t he have learned by now, grown into his role?

 

                The Duck sighed and put the Mask down on his nightstand, beside his bunk. Kneading his forehead, he realized that trying to simply forget these internal debates did him no good. They’d been plaguing him for years. He just never had the willpower to see them to an end. Old ghosts indeed. He had made progress, he guessed, in all of the thoughts that swam around in the back of his mind. But that progress had been shaped by the experiences he and the rest of the team had been through here on earth. That progress was what he couldn’t go back from. That progress was the trap door. Disgusted with such a thought, a very tired leader rose from his chair and flipped off the light switch on the wall.

-----

 

 

                Thought grew deeper and deeper with each foray he took. He wasn’t just looking into his own mind, but the minds of everyone else he was close to. He found it interesting that he could work so closely with those that were nothing like him. He didn’t understand them, and they didn’t seem to understand him. But they managed, and had done so pretty successfully, so far. Grin never liked to question such things too deeply. He had been taught to simply go with the flow of life. People did things that he never understood, that were never predictable. It was just the nature of their spirits, as turbulent as their lives. Grin had fashioned his life so that he could be as strong as a stone, and yet as yielding as water. A stone couldn’t be broken, but water would flow over and around any obstacle. Whether it was scorched by the sun or frozen by the cold, it would still be there. And so would he. He felt that it was very important to be the grounding element to the team. If he could remain strong and steadfast, then the others had something to go off of. He had pretty much given up on trying to make them see things his way, but they had never tried to pull his life into the mold of theirs. And so, he was content with that. He was far from misunderstood, that kind of melodrama would be more appropriate to a short quip from Nosedive. But it had been difficult not to let his inner stability be upset, in this new world. Here on earth, he was far from his mentor both in body and spirit. It had been years since he had left Ty’s training, but at least he was always around, when he was home. But he wasn’t on Puckworld anymore. There was no way he could seek guidance from him here. At first, he reflected, the thought actually made him stronger. Now that he had to carry on without his teacher, he was determined to be independent, not needing his influence. But as time went on, Grin realized that he was very much alone in that part of his life. The rest of the team recognized and respected how he lived, but never really opted to share in it, with the exception of Zelda, of course. She was his only true connection to this alien planet, at times the only reason why he felt for the plight of its creatures. She had taught him that there was a kind of peace that came not through intense discipline and meditation, but simply by appreciating life. And each one of his teammates did that in one way or another. They all balanced out in the end, and he was a part of that balance. A balance they had all grown into. The team was far from perfect on Puckworld, and they all had to make some changes to become better. They were all still far from perfect now, as a matter of fact. Deep in his heart, Grin knew that this war, the battle that had forged all of them, was far from over.

 

-----

 

 

                This whole ordeal would end in suicide, and she knew it. One way or the other. If they won, part of her bloodline would be slaughtered, driven into extinction, perhaps by her own teeth and claws. How would she explain that one in the afterlife? And if they lost, and the Saurians won, it meant the death of both her and most likely the rest of her clan. Zelda knew she couldn’t let that happen. Still, having to go through her own ancestors had never sat well with her either. One side of this war was headed for destruction. And even though Zelda knew the Ducks had always managed to keep an upper hand on the Saurians, death had come too close to the team. She shuddered whenever she thought about the prospect of death amongst the ranks. They had already lost Canard, but he wasn’t technically dead. Still, it was close enough for her. The dragon let out a sigh, tossed her head drowsily, and tried to fight off sleep. It was a claw that cut both ways,  that she was dealing with in this situation, one she had never come across before in her life. She had been learning a lot down here in Anaheim. But she hadn’t learned how to clearly deal with her thoughts. The notion of having to kill the Saurians had been floating around in her brain since the day she had left her home, and came here. But she never managed to resolve herself one way or the other. Unlike any other fight she had been in, she had never been able to fully pledge herself to this. After all this time, and all the blood that the Saurians had spilled, why was this still such a problem for her? It was very irritating that the answer hadn’t come to her already. Would it hold her back in battle? That was her prime fear. One of these days, she just knew it, a time would come where she would have to make a choice. If she hesitated, one or more of the team would lose their lives. If she went with her instinct and decided, it would be suicide. Like a trap, a trap she knew she would never come out of the same. And she was walking right into it, willingly, and afraid.

 

-----

                And he wasn’t gettin’ any younger, that was plain to see. Duke lay back in his bunk and stretched, feeling the knotted muscles of his lanky form slowly untwist. Yup, it wasn’t a good feeling at all. He was, by his count, the oldest member of the team. He certainly had a big role to play, one he had never expected that he would get. Back home, he was the greatest thief of all time. Working solo was a must. And yet once the Saurians had attacked, he’d been thrown in with this lot. Now on Earth, he found himself playing the part of the grizzled veteran, watchin’ over a pair of young wingers on the ice. Nosedive especially was a handful. Duke folded his arms behind his head, and thought that he kinda liked the part he got to play here. After all, it was a lot of responsibility, but he didn’t carry the weight on his shoulders that Wildwing did. And who needed that? There was still plenty of room here to just be himself, and still be useful to the other guys. He liked that balance. Maybe that’s why the team was able to work so well, everyone just sorta fit into place. So did he share a part in the leadership? Yeah, everyone did. When things got out of his league, Wildwing was all too willing to let someone else speak up and put in their share. Duke appreciated that, especially when the stakes of this game were so high. He would care less if this was like thieving on Puckworld, but the consequences of this war were deadly. If he got caught, there was no escaping. That thought hadn’t sat too well with him at first, and it got even worse when they lost Canard. They were such a mixed group, and nobody really knew each other well save for Wing, Dive, and Canard. Once one of them had died, it had kinda scared Duke. He didn’t have too much faith in the chances for survival with the team. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he had though about bolting. But once they got a look around Earth, Duke had quickly realized that being on his own wasn’t an option. With only six anthropomorphic Ducks on the whole planet, he’d stick out like a sore thumb. It would be an easy matter for Dragaunus to single them out and pick them off.

 

                Duke had definitely made the right choice in staying, one of the first he’d ever made in his life. A lot of things had been in doubt for him since the invasion of Puckworld started. Everyone’s life had been turned upside-down, of course, but he never really had known what to do with himself. Stealing food and supplies from the Saurian storehouses started out as a way of keeping himself alive, and when other Ducks started coming to him, asking for help, he coldly brushed them off at first. Duke regretted that now. But when young kids started to beg from him, he had a change of heart. Although he’d looked back, he’d never gone back.

 

                This was war, sure thing. But something good had come out of it. This battle had changed Duke irreversibly. If not for the Saurians, he’d still be picking the pockets of Puckworld’s richest. Although he lived a great life as a thief, there was something much better about this. For the first time in memory, he lived by the book. He had a family. This war had taken a lot from all of them, but it had given him back some true happiness. Not even Dragaunus could take that away from him now.

 

-----

 

                They had all been far too patient, in her opinion. And that was that. How long had they just been sitting here, on this planet? Did they expect the situation to suddenly get easier for them? Sleepless nights like this frustrated Mallory beyond belief. Every time she had a moment to herself, to ponder the events of these last few years, she always wound up angry in the end. They had always possessed the ability to actively search for Dragaunus, and yet they had never fine-tuned their computers enough to actually sniff him out and go get him. That was Tanya’s department, and Mallory couldn’t help but hold her slightly responsible for what went on with Drake 1. What were they waiting for anyway? Forcing herself not to get worked up, Mallory took a deep breath. Hadn’t she learned from thinking like that? That was the way she used to think, when this whole mess started. When the Resistance was forming, and Canard came to her, she was all too willing to weigh herself down with arms and go knock on the door of the Master Tower. And when the battle moved to Earth, things didn’t change much. So Dragaunus was tougher to track down, so what? At first, the fact that he was suddenly exposed to more resources, and better ways to hide didn’t matter. She wanted him taken out, she didn’t care if it was in the middle of a city or the middle of the woods. She didn’t care about collateral damage.

 

                Maybe she’d grown soft, by not thinking like that anymore. Or maybe she’d just grown, period. Mallory realized that she had changed from the angry young Duck that stepped off of the Aerowing years ago. She wasn’t always willing to change, to bend to the will of others. But she hadn’t regretted it, at least not yet. By learning to change, to become part of the team, she’d stopped missing Puckworld a long time ago. When she first arrived on Earth, all she wanted was to kill Dragaunus and go home. This planet was a confusing mess, and in many ways, it still was to the present day! And the more she got to know them, the more disorganized her teammates seemed as well. In those first few weeks, without a true leader, not sure of who they could trust, and not even familiar with their own fellow Ducks, the team was horribly weak. To Mallory, it was purely a lack of discipline. If these people had been brought up to follow orders and strategize, there would be problem in taking Dragaunus down. But Mallory soon realized that having everyone think like that would have made the team even weaker than they already were. She came to appreciate Tanya’s knowledge of technology, Duke’s rugged attitude, Grin’s strength, and everything like that. Everyone had something that she seemed to lack, it kinda filled the gaps in for her. And even Nosedive served a purpose from time to time.

 

                Once she had come to accept her team, she started working on getting used to the planet itself. Humans were just plain odd to be around. To this day, Mallory still didn’t prefer their company to that of her team. But then again, maybe she just hadn’t gotten to know any well enough. Dive fit right in, especially with those two kids from Captain Comics. Birds of a feather really do flock together, after all. And for her, there was Buzz. Mallory never really considered herself much of a motherly figure, but when Buzz came along, she somehow found it in her to put up with that kid. Heck, why lie, she liked him. He seemed like the kinda kid who would be her baby brother. His affection for her was obvious and unconditional, like the kind you would get from a pet. And he respected her not for her military background, not for her composure under fire, and not for her pretty face. He respected her for being who she was. Mallory definitely liked that. If only more humans were like him.

 

                But who knew, maybe there were more out there, more friends for her to make. It certainly seemed like they were going to be stuck here for a good long time, embroiled in a war with Dragaunus, picking their battles carefully. But for once, Mallory didn’t mind that too much. She didn’t get that hopeless feeling of frustration she usually did when she though about never going home again. Maybe this place just seemed more like home to her now. She’d grown into it, and it had grown on her.

 

-----

 

                What a bummer. Insomnia, too much caffeine, and with nothing on TV and his comic books not due for pickup until a few weeks from now, Nosedive was stuck with absolutely nothing to do. For once in his life, he didn’t feel like engulfing himself in a game of Space Zombies. How did people live like this?! The boredom was oppressive, annoying, just downright uncool! Fiddling aimlessly with a latch on one of his boots, Dive shoved a stack of back-issue comics under his bunk, and hopped up into bed. With a deep and frustrated sigh, he resigned himself to his humdrum momentary fate, and lay back on the tousled sheets. A few weeks until his comics came in... it seemed like forever when he thought about it. How could a few weeks do that to you? The last few years, well they had gone by in one big blur, fast as a slapshot. In fact, when he thought long and hard about it, he had forgotten a lot of the little details about his life here. Maybe he just lived that way, really fast. Wing would definitely agree, and then get that little frown on his face that he always got when I was doing something he didn’t like. What was with that anyway? Like he was suddenly a parent.

 

                Shrugging that off, Nosedive yawned and stretched in bed. Yup, what a time to be bored. Maybe Dragaunus would be nice enough to launch some big crisis at this hour, for once he felt like he wouldn’t be totally cheesed off to get outta bed. And, just by his luck, this would be the one night where he would be left alone. No Drake 1 to wake them up with that blaring alarm. Fate was so cruel! Big Red always picked the worst times, that was his game. Bad guys were all good at that, it was like a cliché or something. For a moment, Nosedive felt like going to the galley to grab some cookies or something, but that would seem pretty desperate and childish if he got caught.

 

                Wow... there was something. When was the last time that he ever referred to himself as childish? Usually the rest of the team had that job. He had always been the kid, the irresponsible one, the hot-shot. What a life. Lately though, things had gotten a little better. There had been some really big messes the team had gotten into, and he’d helped bring them out of it. And maybe, just maybe, the others had recognized that he’d grown up a bit, and could handle himself. It had taken waayyyy too long to prove that to them. It certainly wasn’t easy being the youngest. And holding that title didn’t make him any less of a target for the Saurians. Yeah, he had it the roughest, definitely. Who else took this much flack from the rest of the team, and still managed to get his shots in during a fight? The others would see that, one day. He’d make ‘em all see what they put him through by holding him down like they did. Unfortunately, by the time that happened, he’d probably wouldn’t have his youth anymore, and what was the point of that?! Frustrated, Nosedive yanked the pillow from beneath his head, and flopped it over his face, giving up.

 

-----

 

                She really wished that she could stop putting in these late nights. Stooped over a microscope, her concentration failing, Tanya gave up. There was no way she was going to get this fixed tonight, there was just too much to do. Leaning up, she set Nosedive’s smashed com aside, and decided to call it a night. That was the third one he’d broken this month! Sooner or later, she’d have to start charging a fee for stuff like this. Did he have any idea of how hard she had to work to fix even little things like this? Tanya sighed and stood up, running a hand through her hair. She had been growing more and more frustrated lately, feeling like her efforts didn’t go fully appreciated on this team. If it weren’t for her, they’d be in a true technological rut. And the humans were far from one-upping Drake 1, that was pretty clear.

 

                Still, for all the complaining she did about fixing things around here, she couldn’t say that it was truly work for her. She enjoyed building all of the gear for the team. It was quite a challenge for her, something she could have never done back on Puckworld. It had forced her to cope, and to learn. What she liked most was seeing her gadgets at work, the weapons all firing, the parts all functioning. Her inventions were helping the team to stay one step ahead of Dragaunus. It was a big job, but somebody had to do it. And she didn’t think that anyone else on the team could.

 

                That sort of thing made Tanya feel good, even when times got stressful for her. Knowing that she was the only one capable of this sort of work gave her a bit of confidence. Maybe the others didn’t understand how tough this job was, but she could tackle it. All she needed was a bit of space and time to think, and the team had been nice enough to furnish her lab without question. Well... Phil had been pretty adamant about her sticking to a budget whenever she ventured over to ‘Lectric Land, but that was another matter. She’d long since given up on humans like him. Yes, Tanya decided, she’d make Nosedive wait a few days for his com back. Maybe not having it would make him appreciate it a little more. Besides, he could always borrow one of the spares, and try to program it himself. He could use the lesson, he had spent the past years on Earth trying to set the clock on his VCR! Tanya smiled back on things like that. Being the whiz kid of the group definitely had its rough points. But the perks were what made her feel unique. The work was worth her having a place on this team, and she had learned to do something that nobody else could. She had managed to splice human and Puckworldian technology together. It was quite a feat, really. She’d learned a lot to accomplish that, and the lessons were far from over. The Ducks and the Saurians were in a technological arms race, and she alone would make sure that they were the winners, by a long shot.

 

                Yawning as she headed out, Tanya swung the door to her lab open, and flicked off the light switch before she left for the night.

 

The End